Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he was CRYING into my vagina
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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