I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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