Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
