I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
