Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
