Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
