Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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