OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize