Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
