It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
