I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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