I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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