Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
