What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
