just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
where does the pee come out of this thing
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
