I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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