i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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