she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
