maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
