I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
