You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
