seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
