On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
