I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
