if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
