I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
