So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
