My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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