His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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