just come out here and I will go home with you...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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