Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
