thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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