I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
