why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
