He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
