I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
