I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
