Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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