It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
we're so committed to being not committed
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