Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Found your dick twin last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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