he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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