What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
