theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
