I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
