Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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