he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
