wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
