Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
