Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
