I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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