Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
